i, You, we
by Kick Flaw
Summary: Wherein the Wolf in Remus has needs of its own. R/S SLASH, violence


Ummm. Eek?

Title: i, You, we 

Author: Kicks (kick_flaw@hotmail.com) 

Archive: fanfiction.net under Kick Flaw, my site: http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/kick_flaw/ 

Pairing(s): Remus/Sirius

Rating: R

Warnings: slash, major, major violence, quasi-stream of consciousness

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Disclaimer: Is there any cross-dressing in Harry Potter? No? Then I still don't own it. 

Notes: First venture into the R/S ship. Explanation? Got me. I'm sick of pure ickle WERE-fucking-WOLF Remus. Talk about mischaracterization. Anyway. I will not rant. Read on, dahlings. 

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i, You, we

Sometimes i want to hurt You. No, not want. Want doesn't even begin to describe the depth of my desire. Need. i * need * to hurt You. It's a bone-deep, aching, nauseating monster inside. A sickness. An abhorrence crawling, slimy dark wetly grinning, through my marrow. A creature without a name that falls too close to breaking my control every time You look at me with star-dark eyes, until the only things restraining the violence are my hands fisted and my ankles twined. 

My entire body hunches tense. i feel tendons arching under my skin, muscles clenching, joints locking as the pressure of denied craving quivers along my veins; Veins that open like flood-dams before the pounding onslaught of black-blooded hunger. Something internal tightens – tightens – tightens and god i want to scream. i want to lungeripshred * spill * so so hot blood into puddles like rainwater. i want to fill a silver goblet with that steaming vein-flow and pour it down my throat, to have it slither down my chin and taint me as the fire of capitulation blackens my heart. 

i know where i would start, which bone to break first, and where i would end, lapping that last streak of blood from Your lips. 

Your skin, sweet-scented perfection, how i would drag my nails over it. It would purple under the pressure i'd apply -- ugly bruises on Your hips, Your tight thighs now flexing in the clinging clasp of faded blue jeans. Your back, neck, shoulders, blackandblue like Your streaming hair and heavy eyes. Swelling flesh i could murmur cold words into as i violate it with my tongue. Your skin, supple seduction, would know the sensation of my hands, and the taut spiral of my soul might unclench momentarily as my hands knew the feel of Your skin. 

Screaming _scream for me, darling _god, a fugue in agony. i'll direct the choir of Your pain and revel in the lung-burning, glass-shattering shrieks of betrayal. i hope the betrayal scar You the most. Blue eyes would turn black with the knowledge that i'd destroyed You –me. * Me *. And i would own the most important part of You then, only ever forever mine, Your hatred.

There's a rusty blade hanging above the fire pit in the common room. i'd bare my teeth, throw You to the floor, reach up for it, maybe cutting myself as my hands close on it's sharpness. And when it was in my depraved hands i'd slid it s l o w l y into Your pretty mouth, down Your throat, silencing Your voice. No more dreams of You whispering 'true love' to me. No more husky mock-moans designed to tease. No more sweaty moments alone in the shower room when my hands don't feel You but my mind does. 

Broken. Crumpled at my feet. Incoherent. Blue eyes gone black and black hair stained red. Oh the glory in twisting Your bones in my hands. CRACK. God, my toes curl in pleasure just imagining. i want You abusedusedspent beneath me. 

i want Your life to flicker before Your eyes as i * fuck * You like that.

You taunted me. Is this what You wanted? thrust

You tested my resolve, but You never thought it would snap. thrust 

Come on, baby, does it hurt?

My heart bled for You. Now Your skin bleeds for me.

And Your flesh would explode between my teeth, Your taste would drag moans that rend me and break me open and the knot in my stomach, my inner demon, would be sated. Drinking Your blood from the well of Your flesh, Your flavor is what i long for. The monster sinks its claws into my psyche. i obsess. i need need need so so much…

i fantasize about howling to the rotted fruit of the moon with a true beast whose soul is as rotten as mine. 

i fantasize about making You that beast. 

Our melody of rage and blood.

i need to hurt You when You look at me - when You touch me nonchalantly or drop a friendly kiss on my cheek. You have no idea how my visions blurs with dreams of possession or how my ears overflow painfully with imagined howls. My hands clench under the table, and my ankles twine under the chair. Hidden carnality. No, You don't realize that every flash of pulsing blood, every heartbeat, births a monster. A monster that wants You like no human could ever conceive of want. Need. 

One day i will lose my battle against it.

One day You will hate me.

One day, Sirius, we will howl.

we

El`Endo

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And that concludes today's presentation of the mind of kickflaw. Please, if you must run away, do it out of sight of the harpies. They like to give chase. cackle


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